Whenever a biography is requested, I just return to the "About Me" I wrote for my first profile on the Facebook when I was in the 8th grade. Below is the same thing I've had (with updates) since I was too young to drive:

I was born on Valentine's Day and my last name is Valentino - which makes me a literal cliché. I like music; it is very good. I play the guitar and piano and I am not afraid to use it but I’ll never play at a party because otherwise I’d look like a goon. I have a fantastic family and I'm the youngest of six. They have given me more than just hand-me-down T-shirts of sharks and skin-breaking wedgies. I take notes from fictional heroes such as Lloyd Dobler via Say Anything, the dude from Office Space and Seth Cohen of The OC. I may not be anything like them but I still take notes. I despise the Oxford Comma. I am a horrible speller but thanks to Spell Check, you won’t know right away. I like to use pop culture references and learned young to accept the fact that most peers won't gotta catch 'em all. Let’s debate the zenith moment of the Star Wars series: I strongly believe it’s the scene in Empire when Luke sees the vision of Vader as himself - signifying the thin separation between good and evil. I wish I had a scar on my face (à la LOST's John Lock) so that I could tell a story behind it. Like a bear attack. I like to use big words that I don’t know what they mean or how to pronounce them, "clandestine" and "zenith" included. I keep my room and bathroom very clean. Maybe it’s OCD or maybe I just like my shit clean. I will write for Rolling Stone Magazine. While in the parking lot of my childhood Safeway, my father told me a riddle. He said I wouldn’t understand its meaning until the morning of my 21st birthday. I have only recently cracked it: “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too, but you can give you word and keep it.”

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