Biography

Whenever a biography is requested, I just return to the "About Me" I wrote for my first profile on the Facebook when I was a sophomore in high school. Below is the same thing I've had (with amendments) since 2008, or the year I discovered my favorite band Pavement:

I was born on Valentine's Day and my last name is Valentino - immediately certifying me as a cliché. I like music; it is very good. I play the guitar and piano but you'll never hear me jamming during party or social gathering because otherwise I’d look like a goon. I come from a big family and family is big for me. I'm the youngest of six. My siblings have given me so much more than just hand-me-down T-shirts of Great white sharks and skin-breaking wedgies. I take notes from fictional heroes such as Lloyd Dobler of Say Anything, the dude from Office Space and Seth Cohen from The OC. I may not be anything like them but I continue to take notes. I despise the Oxford Comma. I am a horrible speller but you'll never know due to Spell Check. I like to use pop culture references and learned young to accept the fact that most people won't gotta catch 'em all. Let’s debate the zenith moment of the Star Wars series: I strongly believe it’s the scene in Empire when Luke sees the vision of Vader as himself - signifying the veneer between good & evil and how everyday begins with a choice. I wish I had a scar on my face (à la LOST's John Lock) so that I could tell an amazing story behind it. Like a shark attack! I like to use big words that I don’t know what they mean or how to properly pronounce them ("clandestine" and "zenith" included). I keep my room and bathroom very clean. Maybe it’s OCD or maybe I just like my lifestyle clean. I will write for the California Sunday Magazine and the last byline in my career will be in Rolling Stone Magazine. While in the parking lot of my hometown Safeway as a teenager, my father told me a riddle. He said I wouldn’t understand its meaning until the morning of my 21st birthday. I have only recently cracked it:

“You can’t have your cake and eat it, too - but you can give you word and keep it.”

Thor's Well, Oregon, 2016

Thor's Well, Oregon, 2016